Know your privilege.
You see, it’s not just white privilege that exists. I’m saying this as an Asian, an immigrant, a member of the LGBTQ+ community and as a female.
You could say I have four things going against me. The four characteristics listed above are technically enough to put me at a disadvantage. And the truth is, it does. On a daily basis, my sheer existence is a subject of racial profiling and the stereotypes that come with that, questioning my belonging to my country of residence, the inequalities and scrutiny of my lifestyle, and simply the fact that I am the subordinate gender to males (in the traditional sense of the word ‘gender’).
And while bias is part of my every day life, I’m not here to mope about how horrible and unfair it feels to be marginalized. On the contrary, I wanted to draw attention to the fact that even in my marginalized bubble, I have privilege.
My background
To an extent, growing up in Singapore was a propelling factor to the privilege I enjoy today. While there’s culture in Singapore, it was largely influenced by countries like America and England. Our first language is English so that often put Singaporeans on a slightly different scale compared to other Asian countries. This, obviously, is judged by the notion of “everyone should know English” or that “English is (should be) the universal language of the world”.
Seeing how typically I get told “wow you speak really good English for an Asian”, I think I made my point.
But let me drive home this point in a different way. The fact that I think in English and speak English as my first language gives off the perception that I have a ‘suitable’ level of intellect. Often people generalize non-English speaking communities to be less than or not as smart.
The character Gloria, played by Sofia Vergara, from Modern Family, said “Do you know how smart I am in Spanish? Of course you don’t.”
Why people seem to think that those with good articulation and command of the English language is superior or smarter than others is beyond me.
Education and status
Singapore is a pretty wealthy country. I was born into a silver-spoon family. Singapore’s educational policies ensured that all kids got to go to school. That alone gave me the means to make a future that was no less than prosperous. I studied and graduated from well-established schools. I have a degree in Communications and I am a manager at an esteemed professional services firm.
With these credentials on my back, often I’m seen in a different light despite my bubble of marginalized characteristics. You could argue that classism comes into play and I won’t disagree. Having a white-collar job (supremacy alert!) really helps with having privilege and getting the due respect that you’ve made it!
Even as a middle-class worker, I (together with my spouse) make a decent living that allows us to live in an upper-middle class desired neighbourhood in Canada.
Anglo accents
People often are confused when they speak to me. Them trying to place me was often a game — a game of who’s going to be the most offensive? I’m joking… not really. But you can really see the unconscious bias and then the shift to genuine curiosity after they hear my non-English British accent.
Often I explain that Singapore was a British Colony so we use the same word choices. And that I had assumed the British accent because most of the people I worked with are English. I don’t have a true British accent but you can definitely hear traces of it.
In some instances, I would deliberately put on a thick English accent because I know it will change the perception of what someone thinks of me. I’ll give you an example. We were driving through Kentucky on the way to Atlanta, Georgia. It was midnight and we had to stop at a petrol station. I was peckish so I went inside to look for a snack. I was greeted by glaring eyes that followed me with every step that I took around the store. They say “silence can kill” — I felt like she wanted it to. About a couple of minutes later, a white man enters the store. She breaks her glare and greets him nicely with her strong southern accent, “good evening, how may help you?”
So putting my safety aside, I tested a theory — one that’s worked many times before — I approached the cashier and watched as she tenses up her body and furrows her eyebrows at me. I asked, in the thickest and most sophisticated English accent possible, “Excuse me, where can I find the bananas?” (Read that again out loud with an english accent to get my point.) Her shoulders relaxed and her face softens. She smiles and says “they’re just behind on aisle one.”
Privilege. Isn’t it fascinating that even accents can give you privilege, or not. Accents can determine whether you live or die. Terrifying.
Being Asian
Even though there are prejudices against many Asian cultures and people, being Asian actually isn’t all that bad in a predominantly white-centric world.
I just googled “Asians and Whites” in the hopes I’d find a scholarly reference that speaks to Asians being more privileged than whites (in some cases). What showed up in the results were:
Asians benefit from white supremacy.
Are Asians considered white?
Are Asians even people of color?
The Chinese were white — until the Whites called them yellow.
Before you fault me for lumping all Asians into one group, I know these refer to fairer skinned Asian communities. (There is so much wrong in all of this… I should reiterate the feeling I had earlier — terrifying.)
In a recent study by Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) of pay disparity between races in the US:
- Asian men typically earned $1.15 for every dollar earned by a white male worker.
- Asian men holding similar positions and qualifications typically earned $1.02 for every dollar earned by a white male worker.
In another study by Investopedia identifying the wage gaps by race, it showed that Asian women had a lower weekly median income than White men, though theirs was still the highest of all female groups.
White last name
I’m not trying to trick people but it does stir up a chuckle when people who meet me in real life or see a picture of me get surprised to see I’m Asian. My last name, Gibson, assumed legally by marrying a white woman, often throws people off.
Their expectations versus the jarring realization of my true race begs the question of the unconscious biases they have now knowing I’m not white.
Was my intellect and ability to perform a job dependent on my race? If they felt I was capable based on the assumption of my last name, would they change that perception because I’m Asian?
“Oh I didn’t realize you’re Asian. You didn’t sound Asian on the phone.”
I’m not sure how to respond to that. What does it matter? Why does it matter?
The privilege I have here is that people don’t automatically categorize me, my intellect and my abilities based on being Asian. The assumption that I’m white actually helps me. Once again… terrifying.
I am not better than you. Not at all. This whole article isn’t to say that Asians are better than others. I’ve experienced enough oppression and racism to know that that’s not true, at all. Neither do I claim to understand how all other races feel or that one is worse off than the other. I’m also not here to say that “all lives matter” — hell no! (If by now you still don’t know why “all lives matter” is so problematic amidst the “black lives matter” movement, please go and educate yourself.)
All I am trying to say is that many of us have privilege that so many others don’t. And even while facing our own racial prejudices, we need to be able to see that we can and should stand by those that don’t have the same level of privileges that some of us have — within our own race and outside.
Privilege is multi-faceted. We should all be allies for each other and be brave enough to stand up for change.
I attended an Allyship webinar where Ritu Bhasin, Life Coach and Authencity Advocate, shared tools and skills to be an ally. It was in that session that I stopped seeing myself only as a victim to racial biases but that I can draw strength from the privileges that I do have to drive change and to be an ally for others.
So, what are your privileges and how can you be the change you want to see?
Editor’s note: All opinions expressed are of my own and do not have affiliations with any corporate entity.
