Exceptions Become Expectations
Beating the same drum about work-life balance!
A short IM conversation I had this morning:
Me: Why are you online?
Colleague: Got work.
Me: Interesting…
It’s 18 January, 2021, and it’s Martin Luther King Day in the US. It’s a bank holiday for some businesses like mine. I’m in Canada so I’m working and I see about three of my US colleagues online. The above is a short conversation between me and one of them that just spoke loads about the expectations of the new reality — the pandemic/post-pandemic reality.
Another conversation with another US colleague went like this:
Me: Why are you online?
Colleague: Oh, I forgot it was a bank holiday. I have a few meetings so I’ll just take half day.
I don’t know how many times I have to keep writing about this but I don’t think people truly understand that boundaries need to be made. I beat the same drum about leadership needing to be role models and demonstrating true work-life balance, but when people themselves are making exceptions, that eventually becomes expectations.
Is there simply too much work? Where are these expectations coming from? Is it a result of poor planning? Is it fear? What exactly is the reason for one having to work on a nation-wide holiday?
With the pandemic still in full force, many organizations have had to downsize, and people who survived any form of reorganization probably are feeling relieved. But with this relief and uncertainty also comes the fear of losing their jobs. So they work harder and longer to prove their worth. I get it. Not having a job during a pandemic is terrifying. Not having a job, in general, is terrifying. But at what expense?
Is work going to crumble if you took a day off — a day that you rightfully deserve? In large global organizations, most people above a certain level (managerial and up) don’t get overtime pay. That means that regardless of how many hours you work, and no matter how many exceptions you make, you get the same amount of base pay with whatever bonus you may or may not get at the end of the year.
In fact, most people feel that they are working more and earning less. We talk about Purpose — finding meaning in your work. Asking people to find meaning in their work outside of compensation and sanity is not fair. Every one has different drivers that fuel their passion at work. And I guarantee that majority of people have compensation as their top three!
When I say exceptions become expectations, here are some examples…
Answering emails after working hours
There are going to be periods of crunch time where you might make exceptions. Like when it’s leading up to a major launch. But I know of plenty of people who respond and send emails after working hours. Some managers are considerate, they would say things like “Don’t read till tomorrow, I’m just clearing my emails”. And that’s great, but they fact they know you’re reading it stems from them setting an example of having to work late regularly. It’s almost an unspoken expectation.
Early or late meetings
This is similar to the first point. If you work with different time zones, this might be inevitable at times. You will have to make some sacrifices and exceptions to take really early or really late meetings. I’m in Canada, and when you need to have a meeting with people in the GMT (Europe), EST (America) and AEST (Australia/Asian) regions at the same time, one region is going to have to suffer. But when it’s a regular catchup with someone in the European time zone (for example), and the recurring meeting is set to 7am EST, that’s unfair. There’s a whole 3–4 hour crossover at decent o’clock. And no, working remotely now does not mean it’s okay.
Cancelling your personal appointments for non-urgent meetings
Many organizations provide PTO (Private Time Off) hours for you to address any personal matters. These include many services (dental, paramedical services, etc.) that only are available during the traditional working hours (8:30 am — 5:00 pm for example). Some appointments have to be made long in advance. So you’ve got a dentist appointment at 2:00 pm to deal with a pain in your gums, and it’s been in your calendar from 2 weeks ago. Your boss suddenly puts a meeting in at the same time to go over a report that is due the following week. Their diary is packed and it’s the only time they can make it today. Reluctantly, you cancel your dentist appointment to make this meeting. You realize this is a common occurrence.
Meetings over the lunch hour
It’s not uncommon to have meetings during the lunch hour. If it’s possible, I tend to move my lunch hour earlier or later depending on how my day is. Over the years, I’ve started to block of a designated time for lunch in my calendar so people won’t put meetings over it. I have instances where my day is packed with meetings and people have come to know that my lunch hour is automatically set to busy. So they put meetings in it anyway. When you make one exception, eventually you make the next and the next, and then you cancel your lunch block time. Overtime, you’re working and eating through lunch. It’s not wrong, it’s just not healthy.
Research has said that taking breaks during the work day will encourage greater productivity. Stepping away from your computer to go for a short walk or change your scenery will help you focus more when you come back. But many of my colleagues work through lunch while they eat and barely ever stand up.
For me, the worst is when your bosses know you have a full day of meetings, and yet they put in a lunch meeting without either providing lunch or allowing you to eat during that meeting. I have gastric issues. If I don’t eat on time, I get shooting pains in my stomach… these exceptions are not worth it.
Not saying no even if you are over-capacity
If you’re looking to be promoted, some managers will expect you to do responsibilities of the level above yours, whilst expecting you to fulfil your regular job duties. This means that you have to work longer (often with the requirement to ask for approvals to work late — especially if you can claim overtime). And therefore also given a hard time for needing to work overtime to fulfil both sets of responsibilities… or worse be seen as inefficient or slow.
For others, you’re so worried about proving your worth that you take on more than you can and never saying ‘no’. I understand it is very difficult to say no but it is also your responsibility to manage expectations. The higher you grow in your career, the more you need to learn manage up. It’s okay to say no. Or perhaps it begs a discussion with your manager on what existing work can be deprioritized if they insist that you take on a new project.
Foregoing learning and development opportunities
This one is about professional development. We are constant learners and as society continues to evolve and technology becomes more and more advanced, we need to take the time out of our busy schedules for learning and development.
How often have you found yourself saying “oh I’ll just do this course when things slow down.” News flash — things will rarely slow down. Work will never end. Courses aren’t typically long… you can spare that hour in your day. And it is also good to agree with your manager that learning and development should be a core part of your development and be embedded into your work schedule. Organizations who care about their people should invest in learning and development in their people processes.
We are going to spend 70% of our lives working. And if you’re not taking time to find the balance in 70% of your livelihood, that’s a large percentage of your life you’re going to spend stressed, overwhelmed, and unhappy.
Your drive and resilience can only last this long. The new reality also requires a shift in the way you think and how you act. It is in these moments that you need to reconsider the lines that you need to draw and realize that life is more than work… and work shouldn’t kill you.
Author’s note: All opinions expressed are of my own and do not have affiliations with any corporate entity.
